all by myself | lonely in a crowd

First things first, I can’t hear the line ‘all by myself’ without hearing ‘Obama’s elf’ instead.  That YouTube video has ruined Celine Dion for me.  Now I think of Bridget Jones sat on the sofa, in her pyjamas, theatrically singing “don’t wanna beeeee OBAMA’S ELF” and it’s a very strange image indeed.

Now I’m not in a Bridget Jones situation by any means.  I’m just at the point where I’ve waved goodbye to having a group of people around me day in day out, and it’s not like I’m moving away to a different place to find a new one.  Life changes, personal chitchatty post needed!  This girl’s got a lot of talking to do and LOL, no-one around to talk to all day when I’m at home.  Obviously I’ve been on 2 trips overseas this September, so it’s hardly like I’ve sat around twiddling my thumbs on my lonesome.  I’ve had SO much fun and have met the most amazing people.

But that’s the thing – I’m only meeting people briefly and scattered around all over the place.  Most of my friends are now dotted around the country… friends I’ve met at various thingymajigs are all a train ride away… and it’s a real shame when you meet people on trips who you feel like you could spend months getting to know, but days later you part ways and that’s that.  Much sad.  It’s fun and I’m SO grateful for any opportunities – but it isn’t quite the same as having your friends a stones throw away!  Many trips around the UK to visit everyone are planned.  Don’t get me wrong, I have some great friends I’ve met through blogging.  Just really wish that they lived nearer!  There’s a difference between having a social life that gets you out of the house lots, and having close friends 30 seconds away.  You’ve probably heard that quote about how you can be lonely even when you’re surrounded by people.  Never given it much thought until now, but I can kinda see how there’s potential for loneliness even when you have a hectic social life.

Whilst I have more than enough to keep me busy (I’ll have 40 hours per week of studying for a degree to squeeze in there soon, eek) it’s all on me to expand my local circles now.  I feel like being at school, college, university etc. does that for you – you’re automatically surrounded by people, and even if they’re not people you’d naturally be friends with, at least it’s a start.  None of that really goes on with distance learning though (at least not to the same extent) so I’m not in the educational bubble like that anymore.

Being in education makes it easier to meet new people, but looking on the bright side I guess there’s something quite liberating about looking for opportunities to meet new people. I love being around lots of people of course, but I particularly enjoy being around groups of mixed ages, and get on equally well with people younger and older than me.  I’ve been told that I seem older than my years, but I know full well I can be an immature idiot at times too!

Over the next few months I’ll have a hell of a lot of time to enjoy my own company, and I’m trying to figure out how best to stay sane(ish).  I’m single too of course, so no male company either.  Come Christmas I may well be tearing my hair out with loneliness, or I may well be loving this solo-Lily lifestyle.  Who knows.  Either way, I’ll just have to get on with it!

lily kate x

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